Billy goes Vegan (momentarily)

It was raining.  Tropically.  End of the world style.

Hmmm, what’s this ?  A nice bourgeois looking bolt hole, suitable for a dilapidated hippie to seek peace and shelter therein from the stormy wall of water….

Or so I thought !

Alchemy, a Vegan establishment !


I glanced about at my fellow diners.


It was raining too hard to leave.  “Is God a Vegan ?” I wondered in my famished state.  No, of course not, otherwise why would he have put so many deliciously edible animals on the plate….errr……planet.

Now Bali, despite its myriad wonders, has more than its fair share of nut jobs, anal crystal inserted vegetable botherers, born again rebirthers, tangle headed tootsies, flotation tank habitues, quivering heaps of  conspiracy theorists (one informed me that Anthony Bourdain has been assassinated by the CIA because he “knew too much” (sic) !  Knew too much ?  About what ?  How to boil an egg ?  No, don’t you know, foolish disbelievers !  Tools of the oppressors !  He was privy to the “truth” about 9/11 and just had to be done away with.

Awful art was never far away.


The staff were very nice, but hey, they’re Balinese, so a synonym for niceness.


The poster board was…interesting.




I AM too.  I AM Concerned that there’s far too many “I’s” going on there.  There’s no “I” in “Meat” I ruminated.

”I” recognised that “I” was hungry so “I” ordered.

I passed the homeopathic water jug with a shudder.


Gave the mocolate a wide berth


And ordered me the spicy Mexican burger and an orange juice.  These arrived.


To be honest the salad hadn’t had ALL the fun sucked out of it and was largely edible. However the “spicy Mexican” on the left was about as spicy and Mexican as Lawrence Welk


or Charlton Heston, who, to give him his due, at least impersonated a Mexican very well.


The “juice” was gotten at by means of what seemed to be the stem of a lotus flower.  It was very much like drinking bathwater through an old garden hose.

The rain had paused so I made my escape, hangryily wondering what the hell these guys had to be so frickin happy about !
















7 thoughts on “Billy goes Vegan (momentarily)

  1. Ok, I am going to piss my pants. Much Better than Bourdin’s anti vegetarian rant in his Kitchen Confidential. (It was not CIA, it was a vindictive vegan who done him in).
    Pulitzer Prize for travel blog writting.


      1. I mean it mate! And agree with your sentiments completely. If you will dig back in our blog to Bali Expat Billabong you will find I dragged my husband to a singing bowl session to Yoga Barn with the gentleman on your poster. A very good induced sleep at the session!


      2. And For God’s sake don’t start comparing me to Bourdain, those CIA spooks have ears everywhere ! It would be the ultimate irony if I, who know so little, was rubbed out for knowing too much.


  2. Sorry was thT vegan or vogon?

    On Wed, 10 Apr 2019 at 11:08 am, The Dislocated Hippies wrote:

    > thedislocatedhippies posted: “It was raining. Tropically. End of the > world style. Hmmm, what’s this ? A nice bourgeois looking bolt hole, > suitable for a dilapidated hippie to seek peace and shelter therein from > the stormy wall of water…. Or so I thought ! Alchemy, a Vegan esta” >


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